Damn, I’m Broke :: Season #132

Story of my life, this. Broke then, broke now, and most definitely in the foreseeable future. It has been 132 months since I started earning my daily bread. My first drawn salary was RM850 in 1995. I used that to pay for my rent, my brother’s rent, my boyfriends’ idiocies (makes me wonder now who the idiot was in the relationship), my food, my brother’s food, my buddies’ food, my boyfriends’ idiocies, my transport and all other guilty pleasures only a girl can be acquitted of.

Not bad, come to think of it now. Ms. Single-and-making-it-alone has done well considering I never had to borrow large amounts of money from anyone in my family, not even to buy my car. But it’s been tough for sure, for sure. Some months I barely make it to the finish line. Like my soulmate Vernie says “scraping the floor with your nails”. Now coming back to the present – this month is exceptionally bad!! I’m practically digging the earth with my bare hands! 2 feet deep…going on 3 feet… Hehheh, my fault entirely though. Having bummed out for almost a month and then clearing a large chunk of my credit card bills PLUS paying for a gym membership with September’s paycheck was a painful lesson in financial management indeed.

I reluctantly slip into Samuel Beckett’s Winnie, the incurable optimist buried in a mound of sand. She wakes up every morning with the yelp “Another heavenly day!” as she explores the contents of her enormous handbag. (Jo Kukathas rocked in this role!) And so do I – squeak, more like, and not without a sigh, manage the words “Another supposedly heavenly day” and explore the contents of my alarmingly shrinking wallet. Well, my brother can smirk all he wants for now because Big Sister has to be nice to him – he just lent her some moolah! But wait – the cheque’s being cleared, and really there’s no cause for alarm. Just a case of bad money management and non-paying debtors…grrrr…

I am, however, quick to realize what my learnings were, actually:

1. There is always enough money in a month, with surplus even.
2. I can save money – I don’t have to spend it all.
3. My monthly income can sustain me for 2 months, inclusive monthly bills!

And that basically set the pace for my “action plan” which I proudly devised just moments ago *big grin*. Putting my super-excellent terror-menerror Excel skills to work, I plotted out my personal balance sheet, clearly allocating for incidentals, groceries and silly indulgences *sheepish grin*. From there, my healthy balance is brought forward to the next month – and the next. Aiyoh, it’s Kunci Kira-Kira 101 lah ok! And I was so caught up in it, I continued to plot for the rest of the year, till Chinese New Year next year! And I’m such a happy bunny because the balance is looking good! A conservative figure based on conservative expenditure will bring me 6-digit savings in 5 years’ time; inflation rates, income increments, side income not counted (the big word for this slips my mind now).

I suppose this is my financial enlightenment. After all these years, I’ve finally learnt what it is to save moolah. Better late than never, I say! Of course it helps that I’m no fashion slave, neither am I fanatical about branded items. Small cozy apartment living is a can-do for me. And no, I don’t see children, let alone marriage in the near future either. Not that I’ve sworn marriage off, just not hoping to lah. But if it happens, it happens. That’s another story altogether.

I am so beside myself I decided to brag about it… yee-haw! Alrighty, I’m off to beddy-byes. Got gym in the morning – look out for that entry soon!