Sooweeciidall...

Eliza thinks I'm dark and morbid. In her gentle and completely unstirred way, she was ... err... gravely disappointed when I listed out my favourite songs. This is another one of them, and of course there's My Immortal by Evanescence, and almost all of U2's scorching, desperately wanting wailings.

.... Nice whaaaaaattt...


Goodbye My Lover
James Blunt

Did I disappoint you or let you down?
Should I be feeling guilty or let the judges frown?
'Cause I saw the end before we'd begun,
Yes I saw you were blinded and I knew I had won.
So I took what's mine by eternal right.
Took your soul out into the night.
It may be over but it won't stop there,
I am here for you if you'd only care.
You touched my heart you touched my soul.
You changed my life and all my goals.
And love is blind and that I knew when,
My heart was blinded by you.
I've kissed your lips and held your hand.
Shared your dreams and shared your bed.
I know you well, I know your smell.
I've been addicted to you.

Goodbye my lover.
Goodbye my friend.
You have been the one.
You have been the one for me.

I am a dreamer and when I wake,
You can't break my spirit - it's my dreams you take.
And as you move on, remember me,
Remember us and all we used to be
I've seen you cry, I've seen you smile.
I've watched you sleeping for a while.
I'd be the father of your child.
I'd spend a lifetime with you.
I know your fears and you know mine.
We've had our doubts but now we're fine,
And I love you, I swear that's true.
I cannot live without you.

Goodbye my lover.
Goodbye my friend.
You have been the one.
You have been the one for me.

And I still hold your hand in mine.
In mine when I'm asleep.
And I will bare my soul in time,
When I'm kneeling at your feet.
Goodbye my lover.
Goodbye my friend.
You have been the one.
You have been the one for me.

I'm so hollow, baby, I'm so hollow.
I'm so, I'm so, I'm so hollow.
I'm so hollow, baby, I'm so hollow.
I'm so, I'm so, I'm so hollow.

Insensitive

This is one of all-time, all-weather favourite songs. Not just for suicidal days, but I just like the painful honesty of it.


Insensitive
Jann Arden

How do you cool your lips
After a summer’s kiss
How do you rid the sweat
After the body bliss
How do you turn your eyes
From the romantic glare
How do you block the sound
Of a voice you’d know anywhere

Oh, I really should have known
By the time you drove me home
By the vagueness in your eyes
Your casual good-byes
By the chill in your embrace
The expression on your face
That told me
Maybe you might have some advice to give
On how to be
Insensitive
Insensitive
Insensitive

How do you numb your skin
After the warmest touch
How do you slow your blood
After the body rush
How do you free your soul
After you’ve found a friend
How do you teach your heart
It’s a crime to fall in love again

Oh, you probably won’t remember me
It’s probably ancient history
I’m one of the chosen few
Who went ahead and fell for you
I’m out of vogue, I’m out of touch
I fell too fast, I feel too much
I thought that you might have
Some advice to give on how to be
Insensitive

I really should have known
By the time you drove me home
By the vagueness in your eyes
Your casual good-byes
By the chill in your embrace
The expression on your face
That told me
Maybe you might have some advice to give
On how to be
Insensitive
Insensitive
Insensitive

Au revoir, Valhalla

How can I tell the world how much it hurts?
It hurts, it bleeds.
And God is looking down at me. Gleefully.
"Silly bunny" he says.
Sighs and floats away.

It hurts, my friends. It hurts.
Don't tell me, I already know it.
I'm dumb, I'm stupid, I never learn.
And yes, I'll find someone else.
"You deserve better."
"He doesn't deserve you."
"You're stronger than this. You'll be fine."
"Go get a Marine, get a good bang-up."
"You need a drink and some pot."

(All are welcome to tell me what else I need.)

Oh god it hurts so bad. It's gonna be difficult to drive home tonight with blurry eyes...

The Saturday pasar malam and the murtabak.
My babydoll.
My hair.
The spuds with corned beef, no onions. Crispy popiah.
Green Citroen.
PJ Hilton.
Stupid cordless mouse.
Anyone wants a Perlini's silver bracelet?
Creme-filled Bavarians and Nicoise salads.
Water chalets.
Chris Brown, Marilyn Manson and gym tunes.
Carpets and underlays.
Migraines, sharks fin and Kahlil Gibran.
Transformers.
Arsenal and NFM Football Manager.
Thongs and spoilt remote controls.
Renovations.

Adekin Skywalker and her Valhalla.

...

Inflated Deflator Rides Again!!

I'm single again. That didn't last too long now, did it? I'm not in the right frame of mind to talk about it now, so I'll leave it at that. But know that it hurts real bad.

Where will I be tonight? Face down on my pillow, drenching it with my tears.

Remember 140807.