The Other Woman

The other woman finds time to manicure her nails
The other woman is perfect where her rival fails
And she's never seen with pin curls in her hair

The other woman enchants her clothes with French perfume
The other woman keeps fresh cut flowers in each room
There are never toys that's scattered everywhere

And when her baby comes to call
He'll find her waiting like a lonesome queen
Cos when she's by his side
It's such a change from old routine


Oh my God, I don’t believe I actually qualify for this. I can’t imagine the things I’m saying to myself, and the things I’m doing to myself. There I go saying that I can come and go as I please, and no-one owns me. And here I am allowing myself to swallow the remnants of his time and affection while he devotedly nurses his girlfriend who’s down with God-knows-what. And listen to me bitch! LOL.

Face it, Adeline. You’re not as precious as you make yourself out to be. Hel-lo… you were the one who didn’t want to have a relationship with him. ‘He’s too old’ lah, ‘he’s already got a girlfriend’ lah, ‘my parents will kill me’ lah… all excuses you made and gave yourself. In the end, he’s just a man. He’s just human. It makes sense, all of it. He’s in a relationship devoid of physical affection, with a long-standing girlfriend. But it’s a long-standing relationship alright; come rain come shine, in sickness and in health, she’s the one he runs to when in dire need of help – and he, her. So no matter what happens to you – it doesn’t matter if there is no water in your house for the next two days and you can’t shower, when the bona fide girlfriend gets a high fever, he’ll devotedly bring her to the doctor’s, buy her dinner, clean her and even after watching football at 2am in the morning, will drive to her house just to look after her. You wish lah he’ll drive to Ampang when you’re throwing your guts up. Because in the end, she’s the Real Deal. And you?

You’re an afterthought, you fool. An idea, a fantasy, a sigh… nothing, by-the by.

Get real, Ade. Hard your core! Your eggs are rotting in that basket. They’re not going anywhere. Yet you keep plying on the eggs and they’re all getting crushed.


But the other woman will always cry herself to sleep
The other woman will never have his love to keep
And as the years go by the other woman
Will spend her life alone...

59kgs!

That should say it.

I weighed in at 68kgs when I signed up for gym. No I don't have any pictures of me because I haven't been to outings where anyone carries a camera. Altho I have to say that my pictures during the office Xmas party last year weren't too telling of any weight loss. Maybe I'm just too harsh a critic.

Ah, but I'm still 8kgs overweight anyway. According to some chart someone did and by which all PE and Kesihatan teachers, and nutritionists measure levels of health, at my 5' 1" frame, I should weigh 51kg. The last time I was that light, I was 23 years old, in college, starving and had just recovered from a cough that lasted two months and four visits to the doctor. In a desperate attempt to cure my illness, I embarked on a self-designed meat-and-oil-free diet of soup, porridge, teh o limau panas and barley for almost 1 month.

Given my sluggish daily routine, I don't think that will ever work again. Anyway back to work. It's a Friday evening, 8.30pm in my office. Gerard the designer has popped out for dinner. He has to finish 2 mock-ups for a corporate brochure for Monday morning. I have to read through and leave comments on an 11-page copy sheet on asset management processes and strategies. NOW WHO WAS IT WHO SAID ADVERTISING WAS GLAMOUROUS???

For some reason, of all nights I've stayed back there are lots of mosquitoes and funny-looking bugs flying around tonight. I am so sleepy and brain dead now. Last night I didn't sleep too good cuz there was a water problem in the apartment and I couldn't bathe. The ickky part was that I couldn't wash my feet! Mommy says that if you don't wash your feet, the bad "chi" will follow you to your sleep. I guess I was too afraid to dream so I forced myself to stay up.

Tomorrow I'm following a buddy to Hijjas Kasturi's Rimbun Dahan or sumfink like that. He said he wanted to introduce me to a wider set of people so that I don't just mingle with the same ol' same ol' people. Well I personally think artists and ad people ARE the same. They're all jaded, intoxicated, pretentious, cynical, bitter, glory-seeking, cocky, unreal and annoying. The only difference is the size of their wallets - whose is bigger I wouldn't know. All I know is my wallet is anorexic.

I have a "beach" wedding to attend on Sunday - which means more $$ out tha window. OK - now my wallet is bulimic.

Gerard's back with some cheese tarts (so sweet of him) and I've just made up in weight what my wallet will lose over the weekend. Right now, back to more quantitative strategies and investment research processes. Macamlah aku faham...

Bugger off!!

OK listen up buddies.

It hasn't been easy for me. I'm not in good shape. I have an ulcer under my tongue altho I drink 3 litres of water everyday. My eyes are drying out and I have to take them off contact lenses for awhile, which means I have to make new spectacles because my current ones are old and scratched. I went to the optician yesterday and she told me she I could only take an eye test if my eyes were off contact lenses for at least 30 minutes. I don't even have 30 minutes to spare without my eyes!! I was planning to get my eyes checked this Saturday, then come in to the office to work but now I have to wake up at an ungodly hour, hit the mall optician at 10.00am, then make it to the office by 11.00am because of an emergency meeting!

Mom keeps asking me if I'm going home on Saturday for lunch? Dinner? How about breakfast on Sunday? Dad will be back, can you come home for dinner?

And The Boss is another problem altogether. Her management methods and creative strategies (what strategies?) are stuck in the 80's and all she knows how to say is "So HOW are we gonna do this?" ... "WHAT are we gonna say?" And all the while maintaining this primadona stance that insinuates that we OWE her a bloody solution. In the first place, if she's not going to lift a finger and help with the presentations, reports and client liaisons, then she should just be gone, and I don't even mind driving to her house to get my paycheck signed, you know what I mean? Just don't pile your insecurities and incompetencies on me!

And you know who you are - I told you I'd hit the gym if I could! I'm still paying for it aren't I? And don't start about how "I won't see the real benefits" - I DO, and I have. But here's a consolation so you'll sleep easier tonight - I'm not giving up on losing weight. I haven't lost all hope and throwing it all away. I keep an eye on my diet like a bird on its prey. I've maintained my size. OK?

Start up your own ad agency maybe. And do the Client Servicing for 5 clients with deadlines due one after another. But it has to be AN AD AGENCY. And CLIENT SERVICING.

I'm sorry, my darlings V & F - that was a blow that was below the belt. Heck, I'm not even gonna ask you to understand because to you, I'm a loser. To you, it's typical Addie, giving up mid stream. To you, these are all excuses. So I'm not asking for your sympathy, I'm just laying the facts. And yes, I'm telling you to stop what you're about to ask me every single Mon, Wed and Fri.

I know I've been a whiner, complainer, ranter, bitcher. I know because my friends have tired of asking me how I am. I get it, folks, I wasn't born yesterday. So if you really don't want to hear me rant, then don't ask me how I am. Don't even talk or write to me if you aren't going to sympathise. I won't be nice, and that's not a good thing to look forward to.

There!