Life's Lessons Revisited
This entry is dedicated to my cousin Audrey. What was originally intended to be a ferrying service turned out to be a crash course in life’s lessons, some of which I’d long put in cold storage. Audrey is, after all, 20 years old and enjoying the spoils of her youth. Boys (not men), clubbing, make-up, fashion – typical topics (yawn) tabled during our occasional meetings. Sunday’s meeting was a little different in that it involved a very silly little distraught girl, an annoyed older cousin, and surprise, surprise – one extremely possessive, jealous and totally misguided and desperately in need of some serious Addie-pulverizing young boyfriend.
You see, what seems to be The Problem of The Century in the eyes of a 20-year old, is in fact nothing more than an annoyance to a 35-year old; a fruitfly buzzing under your nose – nothing a SWAT! of a newspaper couldn’t fix. Of course, we’d have to be quick to understand that when we were young, every new situation – was a new problem.
Life’s Lesson #1
Everyone’s allowed to be young and foolish. I said to Audrey, “One part of me wants to be Big Sis and tell you to walk away from this small problem, because, really, there are so many more fish in the sea. I want to tell you that you don’t deserve to be treated this way, and that I can’t bear to see you cry over a broken heart. And I’d tell you to leave this boy and find a better one.
“And yet if I do that, I’m stopping you from experiencing the very essence of living life. Of getting your heart broken, the pain of knowing too much pleasure, the thrill of pursuit and possession, and the sweet victory of overcoming rejection. You will be a half-baked chicken with only the rich experience of trashy high school romance novels as your guide to growing up in this big bad world.”
“The other side of me wants to be cruel to be kind. To let you see how foolish you are, to let you fall and see if you can pick yourself up. Of course, if I do that, I would be totally irresponsible as an older person not to lead you in the right direction.
“So here’s what I think I will do. I’m going to let you make up your own mind as to what you want to do with your useless boyfriend, ha ha, but not before imparting some of my own experiences. Then you be the judge of things.”
Because, really, you only get to be young once. It’s perfectly alright to make mistakes. But it’s disastrous if you don’t learn from them.
Life’s Lesson #2
There will always be Bastards. You can wish them dead, but you can’t stop them from being born every minute of the day, all across the world. You can’t avoid them, and, as I have just recently discovered, they can comprise of the most unexpected and seemingly saintliest of them all!
But for every 50 bastards, there is one truly wonderful man worthy of being heralded. But chances are, he lives in Greenland and already has a boyfriend. Nonetheless, we celebrate his existence and silently hope that he soon realizes that planting his seed in the rectal regions of his lover’s anal cavity will not produce an offspring anytime soon. And that he will donate his DNA for scientific research and bless the female population with his clones. (Didju git that, Mr. Scientist? I wrote “cloneSSSSSSSSSSSSS”!!)
So what do we do, but walk on. Again, to learn from experience so that in future, you know exactly how to deal with the bullshit and dodge the blows. And until that time, never close your heart. Love grows where kindness shows. Love was put in your heart, and you can’t make it go away. Love is inevitable. Even if you love durians – that’s love too, you idiot!
Life’s Lesson #3
A husband is NOT family. Friends are forever. Boyfriends, girlfriends, lovers, fiancées, even married couples NEVER last. I tell you, the marriage institution is a joke now. Alright, children and parents are family, and if you’re lucky they’ll stick by you no matter what. So don’t sever ties with the rest of the world just because your lover doesn’t get along with them. They’re YOUR friends, and all these years you’ve gotten along just fine. So who died and made your lover God? When they walk out on you, the only people you can turn to are your friends and family. And can you imagine how unsettling the situation will be if you’d gone and pissed them all off? So no matter what, never EVER turn your back on your family, or give up your friends.
Life’s Lesson #4
If it adds value to your life, then stick to it. Being good in bed is a definite boners… uh, bonus… but when you’re 60 and your willy is as hard as a deflated balloon and your pussy is as scalloped as your Datin neighbour’s curtains, what then? Yeah, yeah, we all know about stimulating conversations. And then what?
It’s that silent teacher, that invisible halo that we hang on to. That noble characteristic that makes us want to always be bigger and better than what we are, everyday in every way. For him, for her. It’s that unspoken word, the unseen gesture, that leaves us tingling and makes us feel wonderful inside. It’s the mental ganja that makes us stick together. The questions we need to ask ourselves are, “How can he/she make my life better?” “Am I learning anything good/gaining anything beneficial from him/her?” “How can I be a better person?” “Am I willing to sacrifice my vices to improve myself for him/her?”
If your answer is anywhere between “Nope” to “F*** off!!”, then you’re better off single (like me, surprise, surprise). The saying goes, “You never know what you’ve got till you lose it.” Yeah, I learnt that the hard way. So I always ask myself nowadays – what will I stand to lose if I walk out now? The answers are all-telling, whether it concerns your job or your love life.
Life’s Lesson #5
Blood is thicker than water. Audrey and I are not very close. But she came to me in her time of desperation. Yes, I feel somewhat heroic, but more surprising was how quick I rose to the defense to save my kin’s skin. That’s saying something, and it echoes Life’s Lesson #3 on family. That no matter what, when even your friends can’t help you, there’s always a family member around who can. And will. Or just bloody has to or answer to BOTH your parents.
And so it was warm and fuzzy. I dropped Audrey back at her boyfiend’s house (that was NOT a spelling error) to let her sort things out with her – ahem – newfound wisdom. While I’m just pleasantly surprised that all of my life’s mistakes, heartbreaks, mishaps and lessons did come in handy after all. There was a purpose for it albeit a teeny-weeny purpose; but there IS good from being a rebel, an accidental flirt, a clumsy lover and unconventional woman.
Bravo.
You see, what seems to be The Problem of The Century in the eyes of a 20-year old, is in fact nothing more than an annoyance to a 35-year old; a fruitfly buzzing under your nose – nothing a SWAT! of a newspaper couldn’t fix. Of course, we’d have to be quick to understand that when we were young, every new situation – was a new problem.
Life’s Lesson #1
Everyone’s allowed to be young and foolish. I said to Audrey, “One part of me wants to be Big Sis and tell you to walk away from this small problem, because, really, there are so many more fish in the sea. I want to tell you that you don’t deserve to be treated this way, and that I can’t bear to see you cry over a broken heart. And I’d tell you to leave this boy and find a better one.
“And yet if I do that, I’m stopping you from experiencing the very essence of living life. Of getting your heart broken, the pain of knowing too much pleasure, the thrill of pursuit and possession, and the sweet victory of overcoming rejection. You will be a half-baked chicken with only the rich experience of trashy high school romance novels as your guide to growing up in this big bad world.”
“The other side of me wants to be cruel to be kind. To let you see how foolish you are, to let you fall and see if you can pick yourself up. Of course, if I do that, I would be totally irresponsible as an older person not to lead you in the right direction.
“So here’s what I think I will do. I’m going to let you make up your own mind as to what you want to do with your useless boyfriend, ha ha, but not before imparting some of my own experiences. Then you be the judge of things.”
Because, really, you only get to be young once. It’s perfectly alright to make mistakes. But it’s disastrous if you don’t learn from them.
Life’s Lesson #2
There will always be Bastards. You can wish them dead, but you can’t stop them from being born every minute of the day, all across the world. You can’t avoid them, and, as I have just recently discovered, they can comprise of the most unexpected and seemingly saintliest of them all!
But for every 50 bastards, there is one truly wonderful man worthy of being heralded. But chances are, he lives in Greenland and already has a boyfriend. Nonetheless, we celebrate his existence and silently hope that he soon realizes that planting his seed in the rectal regions of his lover’s anal cavity will not produce an offspring anytime soon. And that he will donate his DNA for scientific research and bless the female population with his clones. (Didju git that, Mr. Scientist? I wrote “cloneSSSSSSSSSSSSS”!!)
So what do we do, but walk on. Again, to learn from experience so that in future, you know exactly how to deal with the bullshit and dodge the blows. And until that time, never close your heart. Love grows where kindness shows. Love was put in your heart, and you can’t make it go away. Love is inevitable. Even if you love durians – that’s love too, you idiot!
Life’s Lesson #3
A husband is NOT family. Friends are forever. Boyfriends, girlfriends, lovers, fiancées, even married couples NEVER last. I tell you, the marriage institution is a joke now. Alright, children and parents are family, and if you’re lucky they’ll stick by you no matter what. So don’t sever ties with the rest of the world just because your lover doesn’t get along with them. They’re YOUR friends, and all these years you’ve gotten along just fine. So who died and made your lover God? When they walk out on you, the only people you can turn to are your friends and family. And can you imagine how unsettling the situation will be if you’d gone and pissed them all off? So no matter what, never EVER turn your back on your family, or give up your friends.
Life’s Lesson #4
If it adds value to your life, then stick to it. Being good in bed is a definite boners… uh, bonus… but when you’re 60 and your willy is as hard as a deflated balloon and your pussy is as scalloped as your Datin neighbour’s curtains, what then? Yeah, yeah, we all know about stimulating conversations. And then what?
It’s that silent teacher, that invisible halo that we hang on to. That noble characteristic that makes us want to always be bigger and better than what we are, everyday in every way. For him, for her. It’s that unspoken word, the unseen gesture, that leaves us tingling and makes us feel wonderful inside. It’s the mental ganja that makes us stick together. The questions we need to ask ourselves are, “How can he/she make my life better?” “Am I learning anything good/gaining anything beneficial from him/her?” “How can I be a better person?” “Am I willing to sacrifice my vices to improve myself for him/her?”
If your answer is anywhere between “Nope” to “F*** off!!”, then you’re better off single (like me, surprise, surprise). The saying goes, “You never know what you’ve got till you lose it.” Yeah, I learnt that the hard way. So I always ask myself nowadays – what will I stand to lose if I walk out now? The answers are all-telling, whether it concerns your job or your love life.
Life’s Lesson #5
Blood is thicker than water. Audrey and I are not very close. But she came to me in her time of desperation. Yes, I feel somewhat heroic, but more surprising was how quick I rose to the defense to save my kin’s skin. That’s saying something, and it echoes Life’s Lesson #3 on family. That no matter what, when even your friends can’t help you, there’s always a family member around who can. And will. Or just bloody has to or answer to BOTH your parents.
And so it was warm and fuzzy. I dropped Audrey back at her boyfiend’s house (that was NOT a spelling error) to let her sort things out with her – ahem – newfound wisdom. While I’m just pleasantly surprised that all of my life’s mistakes, heartbreaks, mishaps and lessons did come in handy after all. There was a purpose for it albeit a teeny-weeny purpose; but there IS good from being a rebel, an accidental flirt, a clumsy lover and unconventional woman.
Bravo.
posted by Adeline Gypsy Heart | 11:04 PM
2 Comments:
Oh *sniffs*. Addieeee, can you be my sister too? *wails*
ps: Would like to sign up for that clone Guy please, thanks.
Leen, aren't I already a sister to yew and Nell too? Besides, we do look quite alike in the size department. And i believe if you look at our brain cells under the telescope (too small for microscope to detect, and too far off in space), i think we're made of the same stock.
So yeah... i think we're already related!!
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