True Zeroes: The Inflated Deflator!
I'm a Superhero. Did I ever tell you I'm a Superhero? Well I am a Superhero. And I have super powers. My super sonic powers enable me to attract the male bastards, losers and lamers (MBLL) of the Universe. Once they get attracted to me, you'll know they're MBLL. And when I'm close to them, their stinky MBLL traits are exposed and that causes an intense negative reaction in me, which will result in me biting their heads off but not before I unwittingly shred their egos to bits.
And therein lies the very root of my cursed singlehood.
I don't think I've explained how the superhero alias came about. Simple. I'm fat = Inflated. And I deflate egos = Deflator. See? Inflated Deflator.
So ladies, if you want to know if your man is an MBLL, send them over! Men - sorry my powers don't work on gays.
Note:
I'd like to add Kenneth, Aled, Neel, Chris and Dr. Kumar to the list of MBLL's. Original list in last blog. Will update list from time to time when I remember them bastards I've pulverized.
And therein lies the very root of my cursed singlehood.
I don't think I've explained how the superhero alias came about. Simple. I'm fat = Inflated. And I deflate egos = Deflator. See? Inflated Deflator.
So ladies, if you want to know if your man is an MBLL, send them over! Men - sorry my powers don't work on gays.
Note:
I'd like to add Kenneth, Aled, Neel, Chris and Dr. Kumar to the list of MBLL's. Original list in last blog. Will update list from time to time when I remember them bastards I've pulverized.
posted by Adeline Gypsy Heart | 8:52 PM
2 Comments:
All hail the Inflated Deflator, the true hero! Saviour of the world!
Sing to the tune of "I Will Survive"
At first I was afraid,
I was petrified,
When you said you had 10 inches
Lord I almost died,
But I'd spent oh so many yrs
just waiting for a man that long,
That I Grew strong,
And I knew that I could take you on. . .
But there you are,
Another lie,
I was ready for a big mac
and you've bought me a French fry,
I should have known that it was bullshit, Just a sad pathetic dream, Should have known there was no anaconda lurking in those jeans.
Go on now go,
Walk out the door,
Don't you promise me 10 inches
then turn up with only 4,
Weren't you a prat to think I wouldn't catch you out,
Don't you know we' re only joking when we say size doesn't count.
(Chorus)
I will survive,
I will survive,
Cos as long as I have batteries,
My sex life is gonna thrive,
I will always have good sex
with a handful of latex,
I will survive,
I will survive. . .hey . hey
It took all my self control
not to laugh out loud,
When I saw your little weiner
standing tall and proud,
But to hell with all your ego's
and to hell with all your Needs,
Now I'm saving all my lovin
for a cordless multispeed,
Go on now go,
Just Make a dash,
Last time I saw a prick that small was watching Gladstone run nude hash, I should have asked for confirmation, Should have asked for referees, Then I wouldn't have you waving that wee winky thing at me.
Go on now go,
Just hit the track,
Don't you bring me home no tiddlers,
Cos I'll always throw them back,
The only thing that I could do with a prick as small as yours,
Is to stick it with a tooth pick
Dip it in tomato sauce.
(Chorus)
I will survive,
I will survive,
Cos as long as I have batteries,
My sex life is gonna thrive,
I will always have good sex
with a handful of latex,
I will survive,
I will survive. . .hey . hey
Go on now go,
Get out of my sight,
I'm going back to my appliance,
Cos I know it's length is right,
And if I ever see your tiny tockley at my door, You'll be counting up your inches as you pick them off the floor. Go on now Go!
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