The Curse of Madam Helen

You know the feeling when you get a papercut that's just about healing? Yeah, that not-so-painful-but-stinging throb. It doesn't hurt so much that you'll cry or curl up in a feverish fit but it's enough to remind you that it's THERE. OK, so this is another 'rant' entry. But what else are blogs for anyway?? Besides, this is MY blog, and I'll write what I wanna! *scowl* *stick tongue out*

Today was a typical Madam Helen day. The kind of day that will end up in disaster no matter what you do, by virtue of the fact that it is the day you have to meet Madam Helen. Madam Helen is the type of person who lives by the mantra that "if it screws up, it's somebody else's fault". And the "if I don't like what I see in the first 5 minutes, it's a waste of my time". Oh, and the "you look too young to know what's going on, therefore I think you're unworthy of my respect". Ooh, ooh, wait - there's one more - the "once you make a teeny-weeny mistake, you're stupid for life". I think you get the picture.

So we had a bad beginning with Madam Helen when we first met her. She didn't like me from the start. Maybe it was my black bra behind my see-thru bust-enhancing top. Maybe it was my exec's clumsy demeanour. Maybe it was a misuse of a taboo word during our presentation. It was just so wrong from the very start. She just didn't like me. I don't really know if I should be thankful, but her son seemed (and still does!) to think we deserved some credit and went on to work with us. And just as luck would have it, this account has seen more bad days than good. First, we were cursed with the misfortune of a badly-placed ad in the newspaper which made the brand look so insignificant, and which threw Madam Helen off her chair as she demanded for a full rebate from us. We gave it another shot and this time, paid the newspaper extra money for our ad to appear on a good page. Then some big shot's mother had to pass away, and our ad was again pushed to the back, in favour of a full-page obituary. Why why why? No one can answer the streak of bad luck we're having with this client.

In a lot of ways, today's mini volcanic eruption was the last straw for my exec Tim and I. We'd done our best, and yet Madam Helen wasn't happy. In fact, she stormed off halfway during our presentation while uttering that we were such a waste of her time. Oh well. Tim and I weren't new to her outbursts, but my boss was. She was embarrassed, humiliated, and her ego was hurt. NOW she knows what we put up with ever so often. And as far as Tim and I are concerned, we are SO not impressed with Madam Helen's childish, bratty, primadona behavior. We've pretty much lost our respect for her. Totally. I don't give a rat's ass that she's so-and-so's friend and Lord-knows-what kind of sterling silver spoon is shoved up her be-diseased mouth. I'm just very sorry that her children have to put up with such a shameful mother.

I'm kinda proud of myself that I didn't flinch, but I was secretly hoping they'd fire us. Honestly, like I've always made known - I would rather starve than to tolerate ridicule from an ungrateful client. I've been cursed, almost, with a string of very difficult clients ever since I started working - starting with the notorious fishnet-stocking clad horror of a credit-card client, the spoilt Dato's son at the hotel, the slave-driver manager at my first big agency, the whiny verbally-abusive merchant banker, the oppressed closet gay Chinaman at the healthcare department... and now, this. Ho-hum. If this doesn't make me bitter and cynical, I'd most probably be a moron or Mother Teresa reincarnated.

Well you win some, you lose some. I can only continue to do the best I can for this campaign - for the love of advertising. The late great Leo Burnett said "Sometimes clients buy ideas not because they're great, but because they trust you". He also said "Advertising can bring the customer to the shop, but it cannot make the customer buy the product." In normal Ingrrish, since the client doesn't like us anyway, she's not going to trust us, let alone buy our ideas! Fairplay or not, I won't wince if we don't win this job, plainly because I don't like her either!! *snort snort* And inasmuch as we can do a fantabulous award-winning campaign, it won't mean a thang if the place doesn't deliver the promise. Whoops - I guess that means that we'll be blamed again. La dee da. So be The Curse of Madam Helen.

I don't wish this on anybody, but it's almost the norm in the ad industry. Ridiculous clients and even more ridiculous demands! There will come a time when one party has to give in and reach a compromise, and we all know the chances of the client giving in is as slim as getting a one-night stand with Keanu Reeves. (Provided he's straight, of course.)

Have you ever had a Madam Helen day? Or a Madam Helen streak of bad chemistry with a person? And why do I hear Daniel Powter singing in my head???



Latest update 14/5/07
We lost the account to a 4A's agency somewhere in Damansara Heights. Good luck fellas!